By: Mick Young
Parenting is one of the most important jobs you will ever have. These ten simple common sense guidelines will help you raise confident kids and resilient teenagers. They are the wisest commandments ever commended to parents:
1. Thou shall be consistent. Do as you say you will. Children know where they stand when you are consistent. Follow through and mean what you say.
2. Thou shall expect children to contribute (without being paid). Expect children to help at home but don’t expect them to do so graciously all the time. Here is a question you need ask yourself from time to time: What do your children do that someone else relies on?
3. Thou shall encourage regularly and consistently. Remember, encouragement and praise will get children a lot further than criticism and punishment. So, be your child’s best encourager rather than his fiercest critic. Encouragement helps a child link his or her self-esteem to the process, rather than the results of what they do.
4. Thou shall put responsibility where it belongs. Treat children and young people as you want them to be. If you want responsible, capable children then treat them as if they are responsible. The best way to develop responsibility is to give it to children.
5. Thou shall know that children and young people only see one side of any issue. Thou shall also take everything they say with a large grain of salt. It’s not that children and young people lie, but they have been known to exaggerate or see facts only from their own perspective.
6. Thou shall show love and affection to your children. Thou shall say “I Love You” to each of your children at least once a day. Knowing they are loved is the basis of self worth, regardless of their age.
7. Thou shall catch children and young people behaving well. Pay attention to your children’s positive behavior more than their negative behavior. What you focus on expands. In other words, “You Experience What You Expect!” So, if you focus on positive behavior, that is what you generally get. Give descriptive feedback so that your children know what they did well. For example, “That was great the way you two worked out the TV-watching problem without arguing. You both compromised a little, which is smart.”
8. Thou shall develop independence in children from the earliest possible age. Never regularly do for a child the things he or she can do for him or herself. Remember, your job is to make yourself redundant.
9. Thou shall set limits and boundaries for children, and expect that they will push against them. Children and young people need limits and boundaries – these limits make them feel secure.
10. Thou shall keep a sense of humor when dealing with children. This will help you keep things in perspective. It may seem improbable some days, but they will soon grow up and be out of your hair and be a living, breathing reflection of YOU.
The 11th (and most important) commandment:
Thou shall be a good role model for your children. Show, rather than tell, children and young people how you want them to communicate, behave and live. Children learn what they live, and as parents, your actions always speak louder than your words.
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Copyright 2010 Eagle Development Group. Eagle Development Group is headed by Mick Young – successful entrepreneur, business owner, best-selling author and international speaker. We have helped hundreds of people with the videos, information and education found through at http://mickyoung.com/child-care